Because Perfect Love Casts Out Fear

Can’t get this song out of my head today❤

When did I forget that you've always been the king of the world?
I try to take life back right out of the hands of the king of the world
How could I make you so small
When you're the one who holds it all
When did I forget that you've always been the king of the world

Just a whisper of your voice can tame the seas
So who am I to try to take the lead
Still I run ahead and think I'm strong enough
When you're the one who made me from the dust

When did I forget that you've always been the king of the world?
I try to take life back right out of the hands of the king of the world
How could I make you so small
When you're the one who holds it all
When did I forget that you've always been the king of the world

Oh, you set it all in motion
Every single moment
You brought it all to me
And you're holding on to me

and Romans 13

13 Let everyone be subject to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God. 2 Consequently, whoever rebels against the authority is rebelling against what God has instituted, and those who do so will bring judgment on themselves. 3 For rulers hold no terror for those who do right, but for those who do wrong. Do you want to be free from fear of the one in authority? Then do what is right and you will be commended. 4 For the one in authority is God’s servant for your good. But if you do wrong, be afraid, for rulers do not bear the sword for no reason. They are God’s servants, agents of wrath to bring punishment on the wrongdoer. 5 Therefore, it is necessary to submit to the authorities, not only because of possible punishment but also as a matter of conscience.

6 This is also why you pay taxes, for the authorities are God’s servants, who give their full time to governing. 7 Give to everyone what you owe them: If you owe taxes, pay taxes; if revenue, then revenue; if respect, then respect; if honor, then honor.

and Daniel 2:21

He changes the times and seasons; He removes kings and establishes kings. He gives wisdom to the wise and knowledge to those who have understanding.

I don't have much to say I'm just resting in all of that🙂

Holland |3 Months|

3 months old!

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  • You go to sleep around 7/7:15 and wake up once or twice.  You are up for the day at 7.  You are awesome about putting yourself to sleep too and that makes things so much easier.
  • Naps are still only about 45 minutes if you are in your crib, but our house is never quiet either.  They’ll get longer one day… sooner than later please🙂
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  • You are always trying to lift your head up like you’re in a sitting position.  Even in the car seat you try to sit with your head up.
  • You are more okay with tummy time now and you can hold your head up really well.
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  • You love to stand up and you push against everything with your legs.
  • You found your hands and you suck on them all the time.  You’ve found your thumb a few times, but I’m hoping you just stick with the paci.
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  • Bubbles and drool all day long.
  • You are usually making it 3 hours before you want to eat again.
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  • We lay down on the floor and read books and you just smile and talk the whole time.
  • Bath time is still your favorite and sometimes Kennedy helps.  You guys are so cute together.
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  • If I stick my tongue out at you, you do it right back.
  • You had a bottle and you had some formula.  I was gone unexpectedly and didn’t have any milk pumped, but you needed to eat so Grandma Leanne fed you.
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  • You think Kennedy and Reese are awesome.
  • You started holding onto a few toys and putting them in your mouth.
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  • You are still just the sweetest, happiest, most content little baby I have ever met and I am so thankful God gave me you❤

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Love you to the moon, Holland Taylor!

Holland |2 Months|

2 Months here we go!

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    • The beginning was terrible as far as sleeping goes.  I couldn’t get you to fall asleep until midnight and it was still touch and go after that.

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    • I moved you to your crib at 6 weeks.  This was totally new to me because Kennedy didn’t move until 3 months or so and Reese slept in our room until almost 6 months because… Reese.  You were such a loud sleeper and everything woke me up so I tried it on a whim and we both slept better.

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    • Speaking of loud sleeping… I don’t have the monitor sound on.  I leave our door open so I hear you cry, but even the lowest setting on the monitor you wake me up and I think you’re awake and when I go in there you’re sound asleep.

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  • I started working on getting you in a little routine and moving bedtime up.

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  • You are a solid 45 minute napper unless I wear you.

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  • You don’t love tummy time, but you deal with it for a little while at least.  You have had a really strong neck since you were born.

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  •  You started talking and cooing, but still rarely ever cried.  When we did hear you cry it was actually a weird sound because it never happens.  I’m most impressed by this at night because you don’t get fussy like Kennedy and Reese both did in the evenings.

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  • You were in newborn and 0-3 month clothes and newborn diapers until I ran out and then we moved you to size 1.

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  • The girls love to play with you and they are usually very good about being gentle.

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    • You started smiling right at the end of 1 month and you smile all the time.  I love this about you because Kennedy and Reese were both very serious.

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Happy 2 months, baby girl!

Holland |1 Month|

Baby girl you’re already almost 3 months as I type this, but here’s what I don’t want to forget about your first month.

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  • You were (and still are) the calmest, sweetest baby ever.
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  • You were 7 pounds 4 oz at birth, 6 pounds 12 oz when we left the hospital, and 8 pounds 15 ounces when we went for your 1 month check up at 5 weeks.
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  • You had the worst problem with hiccups.  You got them all day long.  They didn’t bother you, but they kept waking you up so trying to figure out how to get you to sleep without getting hiccups was our main goal.
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  • We tried all the things, but our winning combo the first month was to swaddle you and put you in the bouncer.  We put the bouncer in the pack and play so it was up higher and I didn’t have to bend over to pick you up at night.  The key to the hiccups was also laying you just slightly on your side and not straight on your back.
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  • Once we figured out the positioning you started sleeping really well for a newborn and only woke up 1 or 2 times a night.
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  • You love bath time.  You are my first baby to ever sleep through a bath though.
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  • You love to be worn.  I got the Solly wrap this time and it’s been awesome for both of us.
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  • You actually rolled over accidentally a few times one day.  You were like 3 weeks old, but you haven’t done it since.
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I think that’s it.  Sleep. Eat. Poop about sums up the first month anyways.  

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Happy 1 month! I love you, Holland!

Kennedy Update |4 years old|

Kennedy turned 4 at the end of May and I haven’t done an update on her in a while. It’s actually hard for me to find pictures of just Kennedy now because Reese is in all of them, but I found a few.

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– She is a little sponge. Always ready to learn new things. She’s dying to read so we’re working on that. She can sound out simple words and spell them if I sound it out to her. She can write most of the alphabet, but some letters are backwards.

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– She loves to draw, color, paint, do crafts… anything creative. She stays in the lines really well and has figured out how to make colors by mixing the primaries and make lighter or darker shades with white and black.

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-She gets little obsessions with things and for a while it’s been volcanoes. She initially called lava “ma-laba” because she was confusing magma and lava and it was super cute, but she’s got that figured out now. We’ve taken her to Disney Springs twice now and the Rainforest Cafe there looks like a volcano and she is simultaneously terrified of it and in love with it.

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– She loves to help… cleaning, cooking, laundry, carrying things for me.

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– She wants to be the boss and she doesn’t like it when things don’t go her way. If I had a nickel for every time I’ve heard “I can’t wait until I’m the mommy”

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– She was rocking some major attitude during the downhill side of 3 and beginning part of 4 and it was rough. There was a constant need for her to have the last word no matter what I said or anyone else for that matter. We actually had to remove the word “well” from her vocabulary. She wasn’t allowed to say it anymore. Luckily, she seems to be on the other side of that… for now.

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– Speaking of attitudes. I found out from a really bad week of totally out of character meltdowns that she has a weird reaction when she takes zyrtec. Literally Dr. Jeckyll and Mr. Hyde. She can’t sleep and gets totally irrational.

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– She is over the top in love with Holland. I was sure that Reese would be the one who wanted to help with everything and take care of her, but Kennedy has really surprised me. She loves to try and figure out what she needs or how to help her, holds her all the time, and really just enjoys spending time with her.

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– She has a pretty good understanding now of her age difference with Reese and Holland and she’s stepping into that oldest sister role really well. She loves to say, “because I’m 4 and she’s 2.”

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– She is very cautious about things until she is sure she can both master it and stay safe. Sometimes it’s very hard to get her to try something because she is immediately afraid, but in the next instance she’s acting totally fearless because it’s something she’s done before.

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– She LOVES to be outside. She wants to be out there catching frogs and lizards, climbing trees, and exploring our backyard all day long. She loves to dig in the dirt and we have a huge hole in our backyard from it.

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– She takes a ballet class and a gymnastics class and she loves them both.

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– she drives us crazy, makes us laugh, and I don’t know where we’d be without her. Love you to the moon, Kennedy Brooke❤

Stewart

I know I have a million things to blog about, but I feel like I have to post about this first before I do everything else. Because Stewart was my first baby. I got him right after I moved to Tallahassee to go to FSU. He was the cutest thing ever and fit in the palm of my hand.

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He went with me everywhere and he was the best dog ever. He drove me crazy once we had kids and he did incredibly annoying stuff like jump up onto our table and steal food, or pee on the corner of our couches. But… I loved him.

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We had to put Stewart down a few weeks before I had Holland. June 10th, actually.

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It all happened really fast. I was scratching under his neck and I noticed his glands were both swollen to about the size of a golf ball. I hadn’t noticed it before and neither had David. It was a Friday so I figured I’d call the following week if they weren’t better by then. Well, Monday I forgot to call so I called Tuesday. The vet had his surgery day that day or whatever so they asked us to bring him in at 7:30 the next morning. We dropped him off the next day and later that afternoon they called and I assumed they were telling me to come get him, but it was the vet, and not the secretary, so I knew it wasn’t good. He said he thought he had lymphoma and by the looks of it, it was already pretty advanced and aggressive since he had just been seen there not long ago and there weren’t any signs of it before. He said he was sending the labs out and they should be back the following Monday and we’d make plans from there. In the meantime, we picked up a vitamin for him because his blood work wasn’t great. When I picked him up from the vet that day we stopped at McDonald’s for a cheeseburger because #dogbucketlist.

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Monday came and I missed the call during dinner with the lab results so we called Tuesday morning and the labs confirmed he had lymphoma. We didn’t really have many options. Stewart already had heart problems that are typical in his breed and he was almost 11. The vet said chemo would maybe give him 2-3 months, but we already knew we weren’t going to go that route. Instead, he gave him a steroid that he said should help Stewy feel pretty normal for another month or so. So we picked that up and started it on Tuesday. Stewart was still acting pretty normal for the most part and just seemed a little lethargic. David went out of town Wednesday and that’s when the decline started. By Thursday I had to pick him up to go to the bathroom because he couldn’t really walk anymore. We decided we would call the vet in the morning and see what we should do. We wanted him to be comfortable and that was really all that mattered at that point.

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After David and I had that conversation we all went and hung out with him in our room on the floor. He didn’t really even notice we were there. I know this because he really doesn’t like the girls and he didn’t care that they were near him or touching him at all. These 20 minutes where I took these pictures are probably the most contact they ever had with him and it’s funny to us because they think he was the best. dog. ever. The girls always got so excited if he licked them or let them touch him. We just never told them he only licked them because there was food on their face. 🙂 When I got Stewy, David and I talked about he would be around when we had kids and how that was so cool. I had visions of a much sweeter dog/child relationship, but I get it. We rocked his world the day we brought Kennedy home and he wasn’t happy about it.

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Back to the story, that night it went from bad to worse and we stayed up with him trying to decide what to do. At about 3 am he barked randomly and I knew he was done. I tried to give him some water and then I called the emergency vet. He peed all over me while I was holding him. I put his bed in a laundry basket and laid him down with some blankets and David carried him to the car. I stayed with the girls and David went to the vet. We were both so afraid to make the call to put him down, but the vet told us she didn’t think he would have made it through the night. That gave us peace of mind at least.

He would have turned 11 last week. The girls still talk about how they miss him and the other day Kennedy was letting Lexi in the back door and was calling for Stewart to come in and we had to remind her that he’s not here anymore. Stewart Gilligan, Stewy, Stew-Stew… thank you for the cuddles, the endless amounts of pee that I can now laugh about, and every other memory I have of you. Thanks for being patient with me and taking that backseat to the girls, but always being ready to step back in when I was there. We’ll miss you.

#3 is here!

She’s here! Her arrival was nothing like I was hoping or anticipating, but she’s here and now that’s all that matters. She also has a name… her middle name was decided while I was in labor so nothing like waiting until the last minute.

My littlest baby girl is named Holland Taylor Donaldson. Kennedy has decided her name is “H-cha” or maybe “ate-cha”, but she’s coming around to the name Holland.

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She was born Saturday, June 25th, at 10:07 in the morning. She weighed 7 pounds 4 ounces and was 20.75″ at birth. Kennedy and Reese are head over heels for her and they love to help. I’ll get to her birth story at some point, but I wanted to announce her arrival first🙂